Managing your Workload as a “LawMom”
with a Busy Law Practice
By Co-Host, Sheryl L. Saavedra, Esq.
I practice Family Law, which is one of the most client intensive practices you could possibly have. Clients going through a divorce or custody battle have emergencies all the time that no matter how hard we try to manage our practices, sometimes bleed over into our personal lives. Over the last 26 years of my legal career, I have learned a trick or two that has helped me to manage a busy law practice and be a Mother that my children can count on. My husband and I have 8 children together; two of which are mine and are 21 and 23 years old. My Husband has two sets of children; 4 girls ranging in age from 24 to 30 and a set of boys, who are 12 and 14. Of the LawMom Co-Hosts, I represent the LawMom who has children grown and out of the home and step-children in the home. No matter what role I am playing, as “Mom”, “Step-Mom” or “Dad’s Wife”, I continue to learn hard lessons everyday about my children, our children and the children of my clients in my divorce and custody practice. Here are a few of the most important lessons I have learned along the way:
1. FOCUS ON ONE THING AT A TIME
Multi-tasking is a fail at all levels. Being physically present is not enough. Children can tell when you are not paying attention to them and it promotes a habit and a culture of half-interest.
Both of my children played competitive soccer for the majority of their school age years. I attended every game, every practice, every parent meeting, every end of the season party. Invariably, the very moment that my children looked up to see if I was watching or the moment they made that winning goal, I would be looking down at my phone trying to multi-task by managing the hundreds of client and court related emails I receive a day. My daughter said to me more than once, during the most competitive of her high school years, “You are here, Mom, but you are not here. It’s ok, I know you’re busy.” Even though, she was giving me an out, it was painful for me to hear. Don’t make the same mistakes I did. Your kids are only young for a short time. Give them your full attention when it is their time and your law practice your full attention when you are at work.
Trying to do too many things at once makes one mediocre at best. Both your children and your clients deserve your full attention. Teach your children to respect your obligations to both. When they know that they can rely on you during their time, they will give you grace for the times when you are absent.
2. FIND YOUR TRIBE
When I was a young lawyer in Roswell, I got married and had my first child within two years of graduating law school. My children are 2½ years apart and there were many times when their father, as a National Guardsman and Fireman, was either deployed for over a year at a time or spending multiple days on shift at the fire department. I was not a single mother, but I was often parenting alone.
During those early years, I had a group of women lawyer friends, including now District Court Judge, Marci Beyer from the 3rd Judicial District in Dona Ana County. Each of us had children ranging in approximately the same age group. We formed a lawyer mom playdate group where one mom would host all three of the kids one Saturday a month so the other two moms could work, shop, sleep or do whatever their heart desired for the 4 hours the playdate lasted. It was great socialization for the kids. It prepared us Moms to handle multiple kids, if that was in our future. And it gave us a much-needed break. My oldest is still close to one of her playdate pals and I have remained good friends with the other female lawyers over the years.
In addition to my law moms, I relied heavily on my family, my legal assistant and various childcare providers. The name of the game is to find people you can trust. Don’t be afraid to ask people for help. Do not try and do it all alone. Hire house or yard work help, if you can afford it. Your time is worth the investment.
3. AVOID THE MEAN MOMS
Not everyone is your friend. Not all mothers are sympathetic or supportive of your goals to be a great Mother AND a great Lawyer. Avoid those women like the plague.
Do not let the peer pressure of other seemingly perfect Mothers let you doubt yourself. Invariably, whenever I was killing it at one area of my life, I was more than likely failing at another. On the days when I had to work late because I had a big trial coming up or when I got caught in court late because my trial ran over, I would have to reach out to other mothers, family or friends to help me pick up my kids from daycare. I learned very quickly to rely on those that supported me and never judged me. Some nights my kids ate McDonald’s chicken nuggets for dinner. Some nights my kids fell asleep in their clothes in the back seat of my car because my schedule did not allow the type of “getting ready for bed” routine that involved a bath, a pair of fuzzy slippers and a bedtime story.
I hated the mothers that said to me as I was delivering store bought cupcakes to the bake sale, “I feel so bad for you and how hard you have to work. And your kids. That must be hard on them.” Since punching another mother in the face at the bake sale was frowned upon; invariably, I would just smile and walk away with a diminished spirt and overwhelming guilt. The truth is it was hard on me. And it was hard on them. But we are stronger for it. And my girls love and respect me for the sacrifices I made for us all. I wanted my children to have a strong female role model that represented hard work, sacrifice, perseverance, and intellect. I work every day in the hopes that role model is me.